Six months ago, Jesus and I were having a little conversation/negotiation. It went something like this:
Me: I'm tired of trying to figure out where I'm going.
Jesus: I know. How about you give me the map and just let me lead you.
Me: How about I keep the map. but I let you drive while I give directions? I'm an excellent navigator. It's not that I don't trust you, its just that I like to have an idea of what's ahead and its a bit unsettling to hand you the map and only get one turn at a time.
Jesus (smiling): Okay, if that's what you'll give me to work with.... but first, some rest.
About that time he pulled off the road at a scenic overlook, unpacked a picnic basket and proceeded to set up for an extended lunch. At least, that's what it felt like. I was going nowhere.
Since then I haven't moved. Well, that's not completely true. I haven't made "forward progress". Since we've been hanging out at the overlook I've had a chance to revisit some places I've been and get some clarification on how those experiences affect the journey ahead. I've taken advantage of the broader perspective afforded me from this location and I've gotten some much needed rest.
Sometimes, as Jesus and I sit and talk, looking out over the valley below, he points to a distant spot and tells me that someday we'll go there. I can't really make out where "there" is, let alone a clear road to take me there, but I don't feel hurried or impatient.
A month ago I noticed our supplies were dwindling and I believed we'd have to move on soon. But at the beginning of this week I received a care package and it looks like I may be able to stay in this place for a while longer. Resting, getting nourished, finding perspective and reconnecting with Jesus.
And when it's time to start moving again, I'm giving back the map.
Kelli is a writer, speaker and consultant equipping leaders for a deepening intimacy with Christ, greater impact in ministry and more effective intentionality in all of life.
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