A few years ago, God prompted me to focus on the word 'faith'. I went nearly an entire year without doing much with it. It wasn't until I entered the fourth quarter that the proverbial light bulb went on. I'm sometimes a little slow on the uptake.
2013 is a different story. Twenty days into the new year and I'm already experiencing radical internal change around the word he gave me--love. It's all good stuff, but I hope I've not peaked too early. I'm not sure I can sustain this pace of transformation.
Over the weekend, God took on quite a demolition project in me. Walls I'd been constructing over the last couple of years (maybe decades) sustained serious damage. The rubble isn't cleaned up yet, but I can see over the jagged remains into a place of deeper love and greater freedom.
It didn't come easy. There were little fits (and some big fits) and hemming and hawing. Until finally, it seemed he simply breathed on the wall and exposed it's structural inadequacies. Apparently that wall wasn't really even protecting me. Go figure.
Photo Credit: Rozab Botts
A new day
Today I feel...relieved. And exposed. Tired. Hopeful. Softer. But now what? Keeping people out is hard work, but it's got nothing on the difficulty of opening myself up to more pain. Today I decide whether I rebuild the wall or continue demolition. Seems an obvious choice. But it is a choice.
Kelli is a writer, speaker and consultant equipping leaders for a deepening intimacy with Christ, greater impact in ministry and more effective intentionality in all of life.
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