Kelli Gotthardt
  • Unlikely Rebel
  • Speaking
  • About
  • Contact

Author//speaker
Consultant

Happiness is Fleeting...But I'll Still Take It When I Can Get It

11/6/2012

2 Comments

 
Last week I was talking with an acquaintance.  We are both mothers of Seniors and she commented that she just wanted her son to have a happy life.  I disagreed.  I let her know that I had much higher aspirations than happiness for my son (I'm nothing if not masochistically pious).  I went on to describe that I wanted him to thrive in both difficulty and success and to follow God wholeheartedly and to have the highest character and integrity.  

Dang, I'm spiritual!  

Words from Ecclesiastes (a decidedly depressing book)

Picture
I've long feared that experiencing happiness made me selfish.  But I read this today:

Seize life! Eat bread with gusto,
Drink wine with a robust heart.
Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure!
Dress festively every morning.
Don’t skimp on colors and scarves.
Relish life with the spouse you love
Each and every day of your precarious life.
Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange
For the hard work of staying alive.
Make the most of each one!
Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily!

Ecc. 9:7-9 (MSG)

Is it possible I've missed something?  Does God really enjoy it when I'm happy?  Trust me, I've analyzed this one quite thoroughly.  I am convinced that God's end goal for me is not happiness.  But does that make the converse true.  Is his end goal for me to be unhappy?  I think not. 

Is it spiritual to be happy?

It's okay if you're way ahead of me on this one.  But bear with me as I process on paper.  

From the early days of my faith I've been hearing about the difference between happiness and joy.  Joy being the superior experience.  Frankly, I'm still a bit confused by the distinction at an emotional level, but I'm happy to spiritualize my happiness by calling it joy.  

In my twisted mind, I formed a connection between joy and suffering (see James 1).   The spiritual virtue of joy became the kind of happiness you had when life was falling apart.  So...obviously I would be more spiritual when my life was falling apart.  Do see how twisted I am?  

Enjoying the pleasure of God

Picture
But what if God finds pleasure in my happiness? Even the fleeting happiness of temporal realities.  If that's true, I gave God a lot of pleasure this week.  

On Sunday I found myself nearly bursting with happiness.  I was biking home from the ocean with Caleb and we were discussing the amazing day we'd had.  I started it with a walk to the beach with Richard, then to church, lunch with friends, standup paddle boarding on the ocean, biking from our house to the lighthouse where about 7500 people were watching the best surfers in the world.  The weather was perfect, my family was happy, and my heart was full.  Later that night we headed to UC Berkeley with 40 college students to hear a brilliant follower of Jesus talk about how to live out our faith more responsibly.  

I felt guilty for so much happiness even as I thanked God over and over.  So undeserved.  So abundant.  So uniquely kind.  And something I don't take for granted.  As a woman who struggles with depression, I know that on any given day I could be experiencing these same circumstances and yet be unable to enjoy them.  


Holy happiness

So what does this mean?  Here are a couple of thoughts:
1.  Yes, it's good to be able to give thanks in difficulty.  To experience joy in the midst of suffering.  But it is holy and right to fully enter into moments of happiness when they occur--because they are fleeting and precious and gifts from God.

2. And, since happiness is not the central value of the Christian life, we have to avoid making it such.  

3.  Lastly, we must recognize that fully entering into happiness means that future pain at its loss may be great.
“The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal.” C.S. Lewis
Which of these three things is most difficult for you? Simply enjoying happiness? Making happiness an idol?  Or, muting happiness in an attempt to stave off pain?  
2 Comments
Gwen
11/6/2012 07:33:38 am

Love this post! I have the hardest time being happy when I'm thinking how other people don't have what I have. Like when I went to NYC recently, got to see a broadway show I hadn't thought I'd get a chance to see... And I was struggling to enter into my happiness, to feel deserving of that opportunity when there are people who dream of seeing a broadway show and never get the chance. Or this one time when I dropped my friend Leslie off at a homeless shelter and the next day I had this big spa day planned with friends from out of town... Spa days are guaranteed pure gold happiness to me and yet the juxtaposition was messing with me and I could not enjoy that day... I felt guilty. It's that feeling of being incredibly blessed but not being able to reconcile the "why me and not someone else" thing.

The hardest thing for me though, especially in the last year, has been understanding what joy looks like when things are crappy. I know I don't want to just put on the sugary sweet klove announcer tone of voice, the plastered smile... I want to be authentic, but what does it look like to be joyful in that circumstance? is it just choosing gratitude? When all I feel is cynical, gratitude still feels like a mask on top of what I'm really feeling.

Reply
Kelli Gotthardt
11/6/2012 09:29:38 am

So many good thoughts! My sister and I once spent a day at Camelback spa discussing the spiritual tension we were experiencing. She was on furlough from serving in Peru and it seemed so unfair that she got to leave the poverty and pain while those most affected couldn't escape.

The journey of joy in suffering is still unfolding for me. It's much easier when I'm not experiencing clinical depression. But I'm finding that it's something only God can give and it comes at times of deep intimacy with him. Gratitude does help me get there, along with praise. But they are just paths, not the fix.

I'm sure God will continue to help us experience this as we go through more difficulties. Love interacting with you about these questions!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    About Kelli

    Kelli is a writer, speaker and consultant equipping leaders for a deepening intimacy with Christ, greater impact in ministry and more effective intentionality in all of life.
    Read More >>

    Picture

    Speaking

    Book Kelli for your next event or retreat.
    Find Out More >>

    Subscribe to Kelli's Blog. Enter your email address:

    Archives

    November 2017
    April 2017
    August 2016
    July 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    July 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    October 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    January 2011

    Categories

    All
    Advent
    Adversity
    Anger
    Authority
    Awards
    Barbie
    Beauty
    Brain Chemistry
    Busyness
    Choices
    Community Of Women Strength And Beauty
    Delight
    Dependance
    Difficulty
    Discipline
    Dreams
    Elijah
    Failure
    Faithfulness
    Family
    Fear
    Foolishness
    Forgiveness
    Funerals
    Graduation
    Gratitude
    Growing Pains
    Guatemala
    Happiness
    Hearing God
    Heart
    Holy Spirit
    Home Improvement
    Idols
    Imperfection
    Introverts
    Jesus
    Katy Perry
    Love
    Miracles
    New Year
    New Year
    Obvious Observations
    Painting
    Parenting
    Peace
    Pondering
    Prayer
    Precious
    Productivity
    Reformed
    Rejection
    Repentance
    Ridiculousness
    Running
    Sabbath
    School
    Slowing Down
    Social Justice
    Spiritual Disciplines
    Time Management
    Transitions
    Trials
    Voice
    Whales
    Wish List
    Worship

Blog
About
Contact


Speaking
  Keynote Speaker
  Retreats
  Request Speaking Information
Copyright 2013 Kelli Gotthardt
Internet Strategy by Connection Point Interactive
  • Unlikely Rebel
  • Speaking
  • About
  • Contact