Kelli Gotthardt
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Introverts on Mission (Part 2)

4/3/2013

2 Comments

 
The problem with writing about introversion is that I'm an introvert.  And, unfortunately during the course of the last month I needed to cease engaging and rest...right in the middle of my blog series.  Quite inconvenient.    But today I'm rested and ready to write and I'd like to start off with a question.  

Was Jesus an Introvert or Extrovert?

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In a recent survey of Christian college students, nearly all (97%) of the students pictured Jesus as an extrovert.  This is interesting for a couple of reasons.  One, because on all other personality traits the students tended to peg Jesus as the same as themselves and, two, because this mirrors our is cultural love of extroversion.  

And...what the heck???  When did extroversion become a fruit of the Spirit?  But I digress. (As an aside, Jesus was probably a perfect combination of introversion and extroversion.)  


Photo credit: Duck Marx

In his book "Introverts in the Church:  Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture", Adam McHugh observes that evangelicals talk a lot.  Henri Nouwen suggests that words can be a verbal mask for a spiritual void.  How well I know that.

The Introverted Side of Jesus

There are plenty of strengths in introversion.  We can be better listeners, better observers of human behavior, more contemplative, more reflective, better able to engage in Sabbath, and the list goes on.  Jesus displayed all of these things. ( I dare an extrovert to try living alone in the wilderness for 40 days--even WITH food.)  

Recent technology has uncovered that the introverted and extroverted brain works differently.  Introverts have naturally more active brains.  Blood flows differently in introverted brains than extroverted brains and introverts require less dopamine.  All of this points to a divine design in our make up.   As introverts who desire to be transformed into the image of Christ; to emulate his life and example, we don't have to be inauthentic.  Our goal is not to act like an extrovert.  
  
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On the other hand, our personality is never to become an excuse for laziness or sin. And, the reality is that God moves in community.  

So what does that mean for me?    Here are a few thoughts I've been chewing on:

1.  I can fully embrace the personality God gave me.  I often describe myself as a contemplative and I love that about myself.  
2.  I have something to offer the larger community in my ability to listen, to slow and to stand apart from the hectic pace of culture.
3.  My relationship with Jesus is designed to be lived out in community, but that doesn't have to look like it does for an extrovert.  Sometimes I will stay home and that will be okay.
4.  Just as an extrovert has to work to cultivate silence and Sabbath, I have to work to cultivate community.  I don't get a free pass just because it comes less naturally.  

Photo Credit:  Morph Omir

Sometimes I Skip Church.  

First of all, I know that church is an identity, not a place I go.  But you know what I mean.  Sometimes when the community of believers gather, I stay home.  Not a lot, but more than you'd expect from a pastor's wife.  And, yes, sometimes its because I have issues with the church, but I've done a lot of emotional and spiritual work around that and today I find that sometimes I simply need to enjoy Jesus in solitude.  And that's not a sin.  

Of course, on other days Jesus gently coaxes me out of bed and sends me to my community regardless of my emotional state.  That's all part of the dance.  
2 Comments
Marcia
4/6/2013 10:31:27 am

Part of me wants to write a comment but part of me is a little wiped out having been at a birthday party all morning and now having the neighbor kid in my house. And I should probably be crafting some nutritious meal for my kids, but...

Kelli, it was you who helped me to understand a long time ago that it was ok to be an introvert (whether or not you were able to fully embrace it yourself!) :) I am so thankful for you! You done good! :) For years I have fought against that perceived expectation to be as social as possible, to be in as many people's lives as possible, because it was just too hard, too far out of my personality. When I was too social I would get exhausted and not have the energy to care for my family or take care of my commitments, which then led to depression. I finally said enough with this nonsense! Now it is rare that I feel guilt about not being extroverted.

Eric and I led a couples' small group a few years ago, and I think one of our main missions was to develop healthy relationships from the get-go... I pretty much let everyone know right away that I was an introvert but I would do the best I could to be social because I really did want to know them. (It was really embarrassing and vulnerable.) I did one-on-ones as often as I could (it wasn't actually that often), and occasionally I didn't show up for a social gathering and had to explain myself afterwards. They may not have understood at first, but the fact that Eric and I both tried really hard to accept everyone else where they were at, they extended the same grace to us. It was such a growing experience, and I feel like I made many true friends - we all really knew each other.

I think that, and I hope I don't offend any extroverts when I say this, :) introverts can often go the same distance in 10 words as extroverts go in 100. Some need to be talkers and some need to be listeners for communication to work, right? Who we are makes sense in community. Together we make a whole. Introverts need their time alone to be able to give their best to the community - their listening abilities and/or deep thoughts. Sounds good, doesn't it? Whether or not it's true, it helps me sleep at night. :)

Reply
Kelli Gotthardt
4/7/2013 01:34:49 am

Marcia, thanks so much for taking the time to respond! It sounds like you've got such a great handle on this and I'm laughing that you could have picked this up from me. At the time I was in your life I was a ways from being able to accept
this about myself, let alone have the internal strength to ask for what I needed. Isn't God funny that way?

I love hearing about how you're engaging in God plan for you today and I'm so encouraged by your grace!

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