Four years ago--to the month--I made a phone call about a job based on a clear directive from God. I got the job and from the very beginning I described my experience as being "propelled for a purpose'. The enthusiasm and energy I experienced were not my own. God was clearly at work. ![]() With such clear direction and divine propulsion, I expected to be a big success. But that didn't happen. At least not in the way that most (including me) define success. I navigated our region through change upon change. I increased the effectiveness of the product we provided, developed a philosophy and practice of fund raising, expanded the network of partners and nurtured an expectation of excellence and integrity among our clients. What is success?After all that work, I left the organization exhausted and discouraged. Measured against the standard I was found wanting. All of my peers were struggling too, but the feelings of inadequacy were not dulled by good company. Then, last week I got a phone call from the man who replaced me. I immediately felt the shame of failure. This new person was capable and compassionate and energetic and gracious....and successful. After just seven weeks with the organization he is tasting success I had hoped and believed would result as I consistently practiced the right actions--but it never came. After shame came anger. I asked God what in the world he was up to. Why direct me to this position? Was it just to embarrass me? The sacred process.God was kind enough to respond.
"[Paul] planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow." 1 Corinthians 3:6 (NIV) Interesting. Here's what I heard--I had a part to play. I played it. I moved on. Now someone else comes to play their part. Each of us adequate for the particular job we were/are called to do. I'm not going to lie. I would like to have tasted more of the current kind of success. But it's not mine to claim. However, I can choose to bask in the God who was growing me and the seed of the gospel in the region, far before I ever entered the scene. Now that is success.
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About Kelli
Kelli is a writer, speaker and consultant equipping leaders for a deepening intimacy with Christ, greater impact in ministry and more effective intentionality in all of life. SpeakingBook Kelli for your next event or retreat.
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